Roasting Diabetes

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diabetes roast Roasting DiabetesI have yet to be known as a comedian (check out my earlier attempt with diabetes water) among my other many incredible feats but in honor of one “tiger blooded,winning warlock” who is getting Roasted on comedy central tonight and my  DSMA September blog carnival entry I decided to walk the fine line between mean spirited bwahahaha and just  mean spirited.

Wait So let me get this straight Mean spirited is funny?

What’d you say about my diabetes?

So in the If I didn’t laugh about _________ then I would ________. Theme from the blog carnival here is my Diabetes Roast.

  1. If I didn’t Laugh about this ridiculous diabetes cure, I would probably be locked up for assaulting this moron whose trying to sell it to me.
  2. If I didn’t laugh about being high, I would probably be on the next episode of Celebrity Rehab trying to detox.
  3. If I didn’t laugh about about my needle phobia, I would probably be trying to explain how the needle wound up in the eye of that nurse.
  4. If I didn’t laugh at being diabetic warlock, I would probably be trying to explain how my Tiger blood was so sky high blue
  5. If I didn’t laugh about being high, I would probably be at  a dark alley trying to score some sugar
  6. If I didn’t laugh about being low, I would probably be prescribed  Zoloft.
  7. If I didn’t laugh about the lazy fat couch potato you see when you look at me, I would probably have tossed out all the  mirrors in my house
  8. If I didn’t laugh about the price of Insulin, I would probably be at the dark alley trying to score some
  9. If I didn’t laugh about the one foot hobbling blind future me I probably would be really really scared right about now
  10. If I didn’t laugh about being on Insulin, I would probably be  on a Drug called Charlie Sheen. Even though he says  It’s not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”
  11. If I didn’t laugh about being addicted to Insulin, I would probably be addicted to Winning too.
  12. If I didn’t laugh about your pandering to diabetics article (now Deleted)I would definately think that your job is devoted to spreading ignorance? Keep talking, someday you`ll say something intelligent.
  13. If I didn’t laugh and point at my Misbehaving pancreas, I would probably have sold it for a bag of magic beans by now.
“This post is my September entry in the DSMA Blog Carnival.  If you’d like to participate too, you can get all of the information at http://diabetessocmed.com/2011/september-dsma-blog-carnival/“

 

 

 

 

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7 Comments

  1. Those were good Ronnie!

  2. “Now on the roast of Charlie Sheen! It’s amazing how Comedy Central allow the word Shit to not be a cursing word”

  3. Awesome! Who says you aren’t funny?

  4. Wow. Too funny! thanks for making ME laugh about diabetes!

  5. Simply want to say your article is as amazing. The clearness in your post is simply cool and i can assume you’re an expert on this subject. Fine with your permission let me to grab your feed to keep updated with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please continue the gratifying work.

  6. Your type is so special in comparison to several others. Thanks for publishing once you possess the option,Guess I’ll just make this bookmarked.two

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