Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed and something Blue
Yes I do realize that I am leading my comeback post with a wedding metaphor.
I will most probably lose my man card for this but I am willing to take the risk because it fits with what I am trying to say and as an ulterior motive I may be trying Impress a certain special someone who is a wedding coordinator. (You see there is always a girl in the middle of everything….hahaha)
Do I feel like a bride on her wedding day?
I wouldn’t exactly know how a bride feels on her wedding day but my feelings on the this subject are more rooted to the custom and its preceded poem.
Something old, something new Something borrowed, something blue And a silver sixpence in her shoe. It says.
Of course we all know what Blue symbolizes here or if you do not, it is the attributed color for diabetes, really not much explanation needed there.
I am officially a type 1 diabetic. Officially Type 1 because some dude in a white lab coat I call doc says I am. Well at least this one has scientific data to enforce his theory unlike the last one who left me in the predicament I found myself in not long ago.
Mine is not a misdiagnosis in the traditional sense of the world or else I would be cracking heads and filing malpractice suits left and right.
Mine is more of a Misjudgement or a miscarriage of diagnosis i think, brought upon by a combination of things most which are the doctor’s faults and some which are my own.
When I was diagnosed in with diabetes back 1999, I was but a man trying to find his way into a new world and most I remember from those days was that I was very much Blindsided by my diagnosis as many of us diagnosed as adults are. All I remember when I came to from my DKA was the doctor telling me that I had this disease called diabetes and that I would have to Inject myself with Insulin to survive. Something about loosing some weight, eating healthier and sent me on my way with a few prescriptions.
2 Major events were happening in my life at the time of my diagnosis.
First I was working a benefit less dead end job, 7 days a week trying to pay my way through college and take care of myself at the same time, a feat on its own without adding a diabetes diagnosis to boot.
Second, I had an appendectomy at the very same hospital six months prior which I was already receiving a ton of bills for, having had it without Insurance coverage.
These two major events happenstance meant that I was already dreading the cost associated with my diagnosis on top of what I already owed and when I went to fill my prescriptions the cost of the medications and supplies I needed were enough for me to realize that there was no was I could afford this disease.
On top of that I quickly realized just how much of a needle phobia I had.
Aside from the care I received from the hospital during my initial stay, I might have followed up with the Endo a few times but I do not ever remember seeing a nutritionist or any other referral that I was given.
Due to these circumstances it was impossible for me to accept, leave alone embrace my new life and its associated costs.
I had but one goal in my head which was loose the weight and maybe that would aid in curing my diabetes. So a seized upon it with a vengeance of a man possessed and what do you know, the more I worked out the better I felt.
Testing fell on the wayside first. I mean I was feeling great which did not necessarily mean that my sugars were in check but i didn’t care so long as the symptoms were gone. By the time my first Insulin prescription ran out, I did not feel the urgency to refill it and before you know it, diabetes was tucked in the back of mind never to be thought of again.
I was simply trying to buy myself time, telling myself that there was no urgency, I was still young and the doctor made it sound like those nasty complications were not coming for a long long time. I would graduate, get a better Job with medical benefits then I would take care of this problem. In any case I have all the time in the world.
I was living on borrowed time however and soon it would be four years later, sans graduation, Increased living costs and my son being born that I was able to secure a Job with Medical benefits. Determined to get back to it, I delved into my diabetes management but the Job lasted only about 6 months and I was facing the same predicaments and making the same old judgements.
2005 Brought a new Job and with it a new doctor. The reason this doctor decided I was a T2 diabetic I will never know (as a part of my research, I recently obtained my medical history reports since diagnosis and his were the only notes we could not decipher. Go figure) and to be quite honest, I had never bothered to look deeper into the different types of diabetes. I knew there was a type 1 and type 2 and that type 1 was insulin dependent and type 2 wasn’t but beyond that I was clueless. So when he said I was a type 2 all I thought he meant was that I was not gonna have to take Insulin anymore and I was Ok with that. (pug in the needle phobia.)
But then again I wasn’t staying true to my D management, I was barely testing but since my exercise regimen was so high, (I was working out practically 3 times a day 7 days a week) the Metformin helped abate most of my symptoms and again I was Ok with that.
It was in late 2009 when I decided I had put off taking care of this disease long enough, I wasn’t getting any younger and Ignoring it just wasn’t the solution anymore. Focussing on my Diabetes Management meant sticking to regular testing and taking my medications, along the way I started this blog and became introduced to the DOC.
By 2010 I realized the Metformin was not working, the physician I had at the time tried unsuccessfully to increase my Metformin dosage and then wanted to add another oral medication but I decided to go with Insulin instead meanwhile everyone I met since then, told that I wasn’t the image of a prototypical a type 2 diabetes and many introduced me to the notion that I may have been misdiagnosed.
At this point being on Insulin meant that my D management was a lot easier and more successful, except in the back of mind I had this lingering feeling that something was a miss and there might be some truth to the misdiagnosis theory.
Out of sheer curiosity, a growing suspicious mind and some prodding from friends, I decided to look into my diabetes medical history.
I have always thought myself as a type 2, first as an Insulin dependent type 2 at diagnosis, then as a non Insulin dependent and back to Insulin dependency but that notion was summarily tossed out as soon as I read my initial diagnosis report.
So here I stand a newly minted type 1 diabetic or a recycled one whichever way you choose to look at it and my a fore mentioned journey into diabetes takes a twisted turn, stay tuned for more..